Pimento~less Cheese

The perfect lunch after an ileostomy?   Homemade pimento-less cheese, of course.  Okay, so small chopped pimento or roasted red peppers (especially without the skin) would probably digest fine but I've never really liked pimentos.  I only put them in because I am supposed to put them in pimento cheese.  Pimento~less cheese is so much more fun.

2 cups shredded Velvetta (or 1 cup velvetta and 1 cup cheddar)

1 cup mayonnaise

2 to 4 tablespoons sugar

dash (1/16th teaspoon) onion powder

dash (1/16th teaspoon) celery seed

This pimento-less cheese is creamy straight out of the refrigerator.  It's savory with a hint of sweet.  And sure, you could add the pimentos if you wanted.  Just chop a 2 oz well drained jar or can and throw them in.  For the record, I won't be eating all the skin on that pickle but I will take a bite or two.  Or, I will eat like a little kid with my front teeth, digging out the flesh and leaving the skin behind.  I'd forgotten how much fun that can be when nobody is looking!

You might have also noticed those are plain saltine crackers.  No fancy whole wheat, whole grain or seeded crackers for me.  I like them.  I really enjoy them, in fact, but low-fiber means plain white.  Low residue means no seeds or bits.  Saltines and I get along just fine.

This is a quick, easy recipe that is better if mixed up a couple hours or the night before.  You can fancy it up and make a beautiful presentation for all the "normies" but for us gutless girls, this plain plate is perfect.  ;)