Nothing to Wear?

I have nothing to wear and a closet full of clothes.

Isn’t this a standard joke about women?  That we have closets, drawers and bins full of clothes but still take hours to get dressed and can’t find the right outfit for the occasion?  Okay, so we like to look and feel good in our clothes.  What’s wrong with that?  Nothing!

I’m sure so many of you can relate to weight gains and losses.  And what that does to your closet.  What do you do with clothes that are too big or too small?   I find myself boxing up clothing to donate and then digging through it later wondering why I put that article inside.  Then I don’t send the box off and instead try to stash it somewhere to go through one more time, later.  This has served me well a few times when I had a sudden shift in weight again.  I’m tired of bins and clothing that only partially fits!

Now I have a new challenge besides just finding the correct size in all these clothes, the stoma and ostomy bag.  It is very true that you can continue to wear regular clothing after having an ostomy.  You don’t need to buy a whole bunch of special products or go to specialty shops.  You will make some adjustments but really, it isn’t hard.  Everyone finds the things that suit them best. 

We woman have pants with waistlines that range from just under the ribcage to barely covering the butt.  Somewhere in there is a place that is comfortable with a stoma.  For me, it’s just around my hipbones, right below my stoma.   I’ve tried still wearing pants with a waistline above my stoma but it just isn’t comfortable.  If the waist hits on my stoma, forget it.  I feel like I am choking.  Silly, but that is how it feels to me.  So I have pants that I know I am not going to wear because they are no longer comfortable with my stoma.  But some of them are brand new and really cute!  And what if I need something a little bit dressier?  I have to get over it and donate them or give them away.

Since I am wearing my ostomy bag on the outside of my pants, I want the top longer.  I’ve found some cute spaghetti strap tanks to add under shorter tops and sweaters.  I still have so many sizes though! 

And, just how long is it appropriate to keep a sweater anyway?  Why should I wear something that hangs off of me?  Do I keep it in case medications make me gain weight yet again?  Or, do I just bite the bullet and clean out this closet and keep only what fits and I know I will wear?

I went to the store the other day wearing a cute pair of skinny jeans that actually fit me and boots.  I have a butt again.  I was hiding the muffin top I have developed lately eating white stuff.  I caught a couple people checking me out.  Instead of being offended, it felt sort of good.  I made a vow then to clean out this closet that is overflowing with clothes in so many sizes, with clothes that I might or might not wear. 

I’ve decided to keep a couple sizes but not in my closet.  I will put them in a bin again and put them away.  It won’t be everything, just the clothes that I will actually wear in that size.  Everything else is going into a bag immediately and to the trunk of the car.  Then I won’t be able to get groceries again until I have dropped them at the donation center.

I used to hate showing pictures of myself in all the sizes but here goes.  Being healthy is so much more important to me now!   

Sept 2009.  Me in the red, at my heaviest after meds, trying to hide .

April, 2010.  A more normal weight and having no idea what was coming.

Sept, 2011, Just hanging on, hoping a med would work.

March, 2012.  Surgery Day!  Skin and Bones and joking that I looked like a poster against meth or crack.

November, 2012.  Looking more like me again but wearing a shirt that is too big.